Being alone was not the most difficult place or so I thought. Until I was alone in a foreign land.
I would not have aimed higher than the air of the city I had lived since my first cry. But it was late until I realised the city of dreams, as it was called, did not allow it’s inhabitants to be mediocre. You were either too good or too evil to survive, anything in between was just a life of breathing.
I was 21. Always protected amidst the surrounding of familiarity, expected conundrums and easiness of knowing. So when I had less than one minute to answer for an opportunity in Dubai, I even surprised myself with an optimistic yes, within a second. And that is how, later next week I landed in another place - a place where imagination manifested reality of a
human potential to liven up a desert.
I stayed with myself in a new place, amongst diverse people with hopes and ambitions that constantly fluctuated. I did survive but not until the time I sat to write the diary that I knew, I had actually lived one of my most existing, nourishing and independent experience.
How did I find a corner in a circle, you ask.
Home - When left to create on my own, I found the responsibility of building the walls I could belong, of finding the constant place in dynamic days.
Language - While other things mattered as well, I found great power in intentions and the way I expressed them. It made easy for people to let you in when your intentions are clear and clean - for people have too much mess and confusion to add you to that pile as well. I learnt that as much as we are rational people, our senses work on the principle of id. That is why, it was an advantage that the years of growing up I spent in book, movies and on myself paved way for a good social life.
Hobbies - I did not find it true until I experienced. “If your work what you love and that you are passionate for, you will always be working. And always is a terrible place of stagnation.” My work that was once tremendously focused began to malign in due course. That is when I learnt to switch off, find passion in newer things and love in newer places.
You - Finally, the first day and tenth day till the nth day was never the same. I became better and better - found my blindspots, strengths, shortcomings, mischiefs, potential and put them to test. I learnt it was a healthy way to survive, for when I look back to that first second when I said yes and today, I have come a long way in how much good I have become.
I just haven’t survived in time and place, I found a miracle in me, in my share to the world, I found my corner in the world. Maybe someday, I will be able to tell you how better I was becoming by each day, what I learnt and how understanding is became my biggest weapon.
Until then, if you are reading this, it’s time, and purpose is on your side already, ready yourself up now to find your corner in this spherical world.
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I started “The diary of Juniper Ansley” as a part of my blog series soon after his first page arrived. One day, I receive an email from him with very interesting questions to answer and the moment I hit the answers back to him, he shared his diary with me. Though on a condition that he will send one page a time.
It started as a chance conversation and now he was sharing wisdom, fun, experiences, lessons with me. I don’t know the purpose, I don’t know its destination. What I knew is his insights bring newer perspective to mine, solve things in me that I have been decoding and that is where I share the same with you so that it does what it did for me - charge up the life’s worth.
I update him with all the links and details, the lovely comments I receive and questions that you send for him. He is a love of person to receive response. They always have a package of surprise in them, and springs in my inbox just so randomly - sometimes instantly, sometimes too late.
You can write to me at seshatiewords@gmail.com or in comments below.
For more pictures you can check out my Instagram and Twitter with handles @seshatiewords
In all honesty, I eagerly wait for another page to ping in.
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